Few people would admit to being a bully, either in public, or even to themselves. But it happens in all walks of life.

In the past week, following the departure of two of the Prime Minister’s advisers, we have heard about heavy-handed tactics apparently used behind the scenes at Downing Street, and the more sinister ordeal of a Belfast journalist who is living in fear after receiving rape threats against her unborn child (https://www.holdthefrontpage.co.uk/2020/news/reporter-living-in-fear-as-second-police-force-slammed-over-baby-rape-threat-probe/).

We have all experienced bullying at some point in our lives. Most people think of it happening on the school playground, where a child is being singled out for ridicule or physical abuse for trivial reasons such as the type of shoes they are wearing, their haircut, or a hobby they may enjoy. In many cases, it is short lived and the victims move on.

But it should not happen at all and the longer it continues, the more isolated and unhappy the child feels, ultimately believing they have done something wrong and the rest of the world is against them. In the worst cases, young people have turned to substance abuse and self-harming in order to cope, and some have even taken their own lives.

The advice used to be to ignore bullies because, if you don’t react, they will soon lose interest and pick on someone else. There is some logic in that, but it just moves the problem on and creates another undeserving young victim.

And it is no longer just physical, face-to-face bullying. The internet and social media mean bullies can target their victims 24/7 and can literally reach the whole world with their hatred, with victims being targeted by strangers in other countries. There literally is no escape.

The pressure of social media and the internet can easily overwhelm people. If they feel they are being targeted everywhere they go, the result will be catastrophic.

Whatever form the abuse takes, it needs others to stand up to the bully, let them know what they are doing is wrong and it won’t be tolerated. We have to end the culture in which bullies feel free to carry on and imagine their behaviour is being condoned and even encouraged by silence and non-action.

In the theme of Anti-Bullying Week, we need to be United Against Bullying.

Many people imagine that bullying ends at the school gates and once they become adults, it is a distant memory. Sadly, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

In fact, it can be more difficult to deal with as an adult, especially at work or in an organisation. If someone feels that colleagues are making their life a misery, they are more likely to leave and look for another job than take a stand and complain to bosses. They fear this could brand them as troublemakers and affect their careers. Even worse is when it is a boss who is acting like a bully, making unreasonable demands and belittling employees. Not only do the victims have their job prospects to consider, they also have financial responsibilities to themselves and their families. Whether it is colleagues or a boss, it is the bullies who should be shamed and be forced out the door.

There has been a major culture change to tackle bullying across society. It needs victims to speak up and report what is happening to them. It also needs other people to be quick and strong enough to help the victims and to stand up to bullies. It isn’t easy – it can be friends, close colleagues or even family members.

But, on the other side of that coin is a broken person who feels alone, desperate, worthless and that the world is against them. Faced with that seemingly never-ending scenario, their options appear few and bleak, and they may feel forced to do something drastic, with tragic consequences.

That has to be worth making a stand for.

#AntiBullyingWeek #OddSocksDay #UnitedAgainstBullying